導讀幽默上個禮拜天過得可賊爽，才花了五塊錢就在地鐵上看了那么多美女。IhadagreattimelastSunday.Ionlyspentfiveyuantos....

幽默上個禮拜天過得可賊爽，才花了五塊錢就在地鐵上看了那么多美女。

I had a great time last Sunday. I only spent five yuan to see so many beautiful women on the subway.

小時候瞧不起那些早戀的學渣，現在想想，覺得那些同學真了不起，年紀輕輕的就已經有對象了。

When I was a child, I looked down on the learning dregs of early love. Now I think those students are really great. They already have objects at a young age.

多希望接到紅包的時候，打開里面寫著再來一包。

I hope that when I receive the red envelope, I will open it and write another one.

越努力越幸運，真的是這樣。我越努力地工作，同事就越把工作推給我，他們越幸運了呢。

The harder you work, the luckier you are, really. The harder I work, the more my colleagues put their work on me. The luckier they are.

今晚月色真美，風也溫柔，仿佛都會說話，他們好像說：再不睡覺，你就等著猝死吧。

The moonlight is so beautiful tonight, and the wind is gentle. It seems that they can talk. They seem to say: if you dont sleep again, youll wait for sudden death.

今天去看牙醫，醫生問我怎么牙齒磨損這么嚴重？我說因為我的人生都是靠咬牙撐過來的。

Today, I went to the dentist. The doctor asked me why my teeth were so worn out? I said, because my life depends on gritting my teeth.

小時候：我長大后要去幫助貧窮的人！長大后：請幫幫我…

When I was a child: I want to help the poor when I grow up! When I grow up: please help me

我想出去走走，想把自己走丟，但是又怕沒人撿，我想問一下有人撿嗎？高低給個回復，我好選擇走丟的地方。

I want to go out and lose myself, but Im afraid no one will pick it up. I want to ask if anyone picked it up? Give me a reply so that I can choose the lost place.

跟老爸吵架打了我一耳光，本來想問他吃飯沒，緩和一下氣氛，結果說成了：“你沒吃飯是吧。”

I had a quarrel with my father and slapped me in the face. I wanted to ask him if he had dinner and ease the atmosphere. As a result, I said, "you didnt eat, did you?"

老師：“小明，昨天考試時你抄同桌的答案了是不是？”

小明：“是得，可你是怎么發現的呢？”

老師：“他第十題答案是‘我不知道，而你的答案是‘我也不知道。”

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, you copied the answer from your deskmate in the exam yesterday, didnt you?"

Xiao Ming: "yes, but how did you find it?"

Teacher: "his answer to question 10 is I dont know, and your answer is I dont know either."

又要過年了，完全不顧我有沒有錢過年，說過年就過年。

Its the new year again. I dont care whether I have money or not. I said the new year would be the new year.

錢太委屈了，每個人都說愛它，卻把它拿去跟別人做交易。

Money is so wronged that everyone says they love it, but they take it to trade with others.

我平時的健身方式都比較特別，就是在網上抬杠。

My usual way of fitness is quite special, that is, to raise bars on the Internet.

每當我打算開始存錢的時候，總有個聲音對我說：對自己好點。這就是我一窮二白的原因。

Whenever I plan to start saving money, a voice always says to me: be good to yourself. Thats why Im poor.